Someone forked me.

Mid-soccer game on Thursday night, a teammate asks me, "What the heck is that on your neck?". I'm thinking it's probably some dirt or a wound from my terrible attempts at stopping balls from entering the net. They described the 'thing on my neck' as 'like someone stabbed you with a fork'. I didn't remember to check it out until later that night after I'd showered. Much to my dismay, I saw THIS when I looked in the mirror:


What IS this?  Any ideas how this might have happened?  Is this a bacterial infection?  Was I attacked by that stupid Twilight werewolf, Jack?  Or maybe it was the other one, the vampire- you know, Edwin?  Who knows.  I need some answers, people.